Strictly Come Dancing - Update

I mistyped the above title as Strictly Coma Dancing, and I think that will be what next week's final may be. After opera-singer Lesley Garret and newsreader Natasha Kaplinsky did so well in both their dances, actor Christopher parker continued to be unable to dance. Admittedly he showed an improvement, particularly on last week's novelty Paso doable where he wielded a cape a la Dracula and kept a mock serious face whilst stomping about. It is a shame that the viewers (teenage girls mostly I would presume) voted him through ahead of Lesley who consistently took second or third spots. It has made a mockery of the contest and a very one-sided final.

BB5 - Week 4

Compared to last week, I found Big Brother quite slow. No rows, no snogs/sex, all a bit ordinary. Although Scottish body-builder Jason was turning into a moody so-and-so, the others didn't do much, although mediator and potential evictee Dan was getting quite irritated with him. In the end on Friday, Vanessa left the house with an over-whelming 85% of the vote. She is in the Sunday tabloids in her bikini/underwear talking about her sex secrets. Yawn. Saturday's live task was three fold and quite interesting, but probably more so for them than us as we watched them fail to solve an anagram, succeed in pushing Michelle in a ball for a game of human skittles and finally, succeed in winning the human buzzer game using Shell as the tool. That's about it really for the BB house, week 4.

Credit Card Pranks

A poster from some forums that I contribute to, posted a link to another site which I found quite amusing. Zug, bills itself as a comedy site on the web, and I really enjoyed the linked 'experiment' on credit card signatures, and the failure of the sales assistant to notice.

Mostly when I sign receipts, in spite of my best intentions to sign my own name to the best of my abilities in that small space with nothing to lean on properly, my signature doesn't always come out like it does on the back of my card. No one has ever queried this. Once I got a new card, which I forgot to sign, and I used it two or three times before someone pointed it out to me. Basically, however, I am just too chicken to try and test this prank out myself!

Celebdaq - The addiction

Currently I am addicted to Celebdaq the BBC celebrity share trading game. There once was an accompanying TV programme on BBC3, but that has been taken off air.

The game is free to sign up to and the idea is that you are given £10,000 to 'buy' shares in celebs which include pop stars, film stars, royals and reality TV contestants, but no politicians (apart from Arnold Schwarzenegger for some reason). The value of your portfolio can rise according to who else is buying that celeb. You receive dividends on a Friday morning which are calculated through the amount of column inches your celeb has generated over the last week, depending on how long you have held the shares for. To simplify it somewhat, to make money you can either trade on the highest mover (whose price is rising the most, percentage wise) or buy one person at the beginning of the trading week and stick with them in the hope that they generated a lot of column inches in the newspapers. The amount you receive is weighted depending on the publication that it was in, and only selected papers and magazines count. Coverage in Broadsheets papers, like the Telegraph etc give you better returns than coverage in regular newspapers of tabloids or gossip magazines. Most Celebdaqers would use a game plan that was a combination of the two, depending on their aims. Some play to become top of the leader board, so need the highest percentage gain, some play for 'icons' i.e monetary value. To prevent their being a monopoly in certain shares, players are 'knee-capped' on the Monday after you receive £1 million. A bit of crafty trading as you approach the £1 million mark can lead to you making £2-3 million ny 6am Monday (the cut off point). for every £1 Million you achieve you get an icon related to the total amount of money you have in that portfolio, for example, you get a yacht for £10 milion, a sports car for £5 million.

I tend to trade for icons/money which I find the most fun. There is a Movers & Losers board that shows you five (and more) of the highest moving celebs, percentage wise, which changes approximately every 15 minutes, but I also like to guess who is going to achieve the highest dividend at the end of the week. One tool to help predict this is the p.d or Potential Dividend which is posted most afternoons and is an estimate of what didvidend that share would garner if it was held for the full seven days. This can also aid in deciding whether to change your share and take 3 or 4 days worth of a good yielding share rather than a full weeks worth of a dud share.

Althoughh this may sound a bit complicated, you soon end up checking your shares two or three times a day if you can, and regularly refreshing the Movers & Losers board page. There are several Message Boards on the site that can be informative for hints and tips, plus there is usually some fun and irrelvant discussion going on too. Add to this, the mini-leagues which are run by some traders as a sperate mini-competition. Some are huge, with weekly relegations and promotions, some are themed (I am currently in a Big Brother contestants only league - which I am topping!). There is also the MotDaq league, which is a team competition based on football. Each week a your team plays a different 'footbal team' and you score goals depending on how much your percentage increase is higher than one of you opponents.

All in all, this means that whenever I am on the web, even if just for ten minutes, I will usually have a Celebdaq window open. I think I need to go into re-hab!

BB5 - That was the week that was - Week 3

Big Brother has always been compulsive viewing for me. Lat year's effort was quite poor in comparison with previous years, but this year Big Brother has redeemed itself, though some would say has gone a bit far.

Week One, after the assortment of 12 odd-balls arrived, was full of trouble as lesbian (I don't know why this is relevant, but the media seemed to think so), political activist Kitten broke eight of the nine house rules several times over. She was eventually kicked out by Big Brother. The following week, the housemates thought they were nominating as normal and three were put up for eviction: quiet, older chap Ahmed, bubbly, loud Emma, and Geordie lass Michelle. The twist was that two housemates would leave the house, but not to leave the show. They would go and live in a bed-sit attached to the Studio for five days and to watch everything that was going on in the house, and who was talking about who.

The two girls had ultimately ended up in the bed-sit, had found that several housemates had talked about them and had been less than pleasant, and were not too pleased. Big Brother gave them daily challenges as to whose bed was to get soaked with water and eggs, who was to have cold showers for the week etc. Between them they had decided, when they were to go back to the house, that they would play a long game and not reveal what they knew, apart from to their friends, and to 'mess with the heads' of those that had wronged them. Big Brother hid them in a buffet table when they returned to the house on Wednesday. When the housemates were allowed into the living area, one housemate, Nadia, lifted up a platter cover to find Emma's head which made for some funny viewing.

Later that night there was a food fight, mainly contributed to by the 'younger' housemates - Emma, Marco and Nadia, whilst resented by the 'older' group of Jason, Victor and Vanessa. Note that age is not relevant here, but how the 'older' group perceive the divide. Whilst asking if they were going to clear up, Scottish body-builder Jason became a bit aggressive, towards Marco, who continued to goad him. Jason actually turned over some furniture, I believe. Victor and Emma also had a row which involved throwing food, trays and wine in seriousness, whilst Victor threatened to "fucking kill" Emma. Meanwhile Nadia went to comfort a distressed Shell, and was pushed away and ended up rowing with Vanessa. By this time however, the live feed (it was 2am) was taken off air.

Security guards were called in to break up the fight, and the group was separated, Emma went back into the bed-sit, some slept in the bedroom and some in the lounge. After rising late on Thursday, some started to clean the house. The housemates also tried to piece together the events of the night before, which many had hazy recollections of, during to drink. Some housemates, like Nadia, were quick to offer apologies for offence that may have been caused. Others, such as Jason and Victor continued to believe they were in the right, and were reluctant to build bridges. Fortunately the excellent Dan negotiated, for people to chat to each other and help them to move on and accept offered apologies. I hear rumours that they may send him to Iraq after he comes out of the house.

The eviction that were supposed to happen on Friday were postponed until the following week. The nominees - Dan and Vanessa - would still be up for eviction, and the voting would continue for another week, with all existing votes cast, still standing. It came to light on Saturday night that Emma would not be returning to the BB house, as although BB officially did not think she was any more or less responsible than any other housemates, they could not risk another situation like that happening. Emma herself appears to be quiet volatile and a little comment from a housemate that she takes the wrong way could kick off again, especially if the other housemate was also unable to walk away. Roll on another week...

Strictly Come Dancing

The cult BBC show Strictly Come Dancing has become compulsive viewing of a Saturday teatime. OK, so Ballroom and Latin American dancing professionals teaming up with celebs may sound as if it is scrapping the barrel a bit, but it is sucking in quite a broad spectrum of viewers. Basically four male celebs (Rugby player Martin Offiah, Bargain Hunt host David Dickinson, comedian Jason Woods (no, I don’t know who he is either) and Eastenders’ actor Christopher Parker have teamed up with professional women dancers to compete against breakfast TV presenter Natasha Kaplinsky, opera singer, Lesley Garrett, and actresses Claire Sweeney and Verona Joseph, who get to dance with the male professionals.

Generally the celeb women were always a better standard than the men. After each dance a panel of judges scores the pairs, these scores are combined with an audience telephone vote. The pair with the lowest score overall is eliminated each week. This has meant that we have lost good dancers like Claire Sweeney and Lesley Garrett whilst a number of young female viewers that support Christopher Parker, have seen him go through week after week, in spite of the low scores he receives from the judges. The poor boy has absolutely no sense of rhythm whatsoever and this is a shame.

The interest in the show has been assisted by a number of alleged romances in the press. There were rumours circulating in the tabloids that Brendan Cole, Natasha Kaplinsky’s dancing partner was dumped by his fiancée Camilla (David Dickinson’s partner) because of his flirting with the TV presenter. Martin Offiah has also been pictured cuddling his dancing partner Erin Boag during a picnic in a park. How much of these romances are true or whether they are just a bit of harmless flirting is not for me to ascertain, but they certainly add attention to the show.

One other aspect is the spin-off show on BBC3, presented by mad West-country comedian Justin Lee Collins (who I once saw live, comparing a show at an East End comedy club). He is lively, funny and not afraid to ask anything (almost) of the contestants. I predict this is not the last we will see of him.

All in all this show has become a real climber in the ratings for the Beeb (who really have nothing to compete against – Football or a hidden camera show - yawn). Not to mention the impact it has had on the ballroom circuit, as professional rivalries flare up and now many people are flocking to dance classes across the land. Natasha to win!

Things to do in Britain - Part One

The first of several (hopefully) reviews of places to visit in Britain. UK tourist attractions are notoriously bad value for money. Admissions can be high, and attractions are often not up to scratch, but some attractions do have a lot to offer and I would like to mention a few of them here, in no particular order.

Recently, whilst in Leicester, Ratboy and I visited the National Space Centre They charge about £8.95 for an adult which includes access to everywhere in the centre, including a free show in the planetarium which is about a particular planet (when we went it was Mars, you don't get a choice) which is informative and fun. They also have other films showing sometimes for a small extra charge (about £2-3). We saw The Planets which was an interactive one. Mainly it is designed for kiddies, but it was still quite interesting.

In the main part of the centre you see exhibitions of what life is like for an astronaut, the universe (complete with interactive games)and a comprehensive and informative guide to all the planets. There is also stuff about the weather and the recent (unsuccessful) Beagle 2 mission to Mars. In another part of the centre there are two real rockets and various other space related pieces of metal such as satellites and things to play/experiment with.

The centre also contains a cafe, a bar (closed whilst we were there) and a gift shop. It obviously caters for school groups, so it may be worth checking that none are visiting when you want to go (unless that it your thing!). There is good disabled access (but when I was there they were refurbishing the lifts, so you could only access the Rocket Tower by stairs. This would be worth checking out if you were going in the middle of 2004, in case the work has not been completed.


Last Year, we went for a weekend in Cornwall and went to the Eden Project . Developed for the millennium, it is an environmental project showing flora and fauna from around the world. When we went it was one of the hottest days of the year, and as a lot of the project is based around tours of biomes (giant greenhouses) this should be a consideration in choosing when to visit. But as there are also lots to see outside, you don't want to go in the rain either! It is about £12 to get in for adults, which is quite expensive but there is a lot in there (perhaps too much).

As you exit the visitor Centre to the outdoor biome (not a greenhouse) you have a choice of several paths. The official path is quite a long, winding one that takes you downhill to the greenhouses (don't worry there is a little train to take you back up to the top!) and you will pass little sections of plants in themes such a plants for food, plants for tea or beer or rope etc, that can grow outdoors in the UK (admittedly in a very sheltered, well cared for environment) This is where you truly discover how poor you are at naming which plant is which (fortunately most have labels). The bigger of the two greenhouse biomes is dedicated to the Humid Tropics. Rather confusingly same parts are labelled by place or region, and some by plant (i.e. rice, sugar). It can be very hot in there but there are plenty of seats and a few waterfalls.

After the Humid biome, you cross over a cafe area to the Temperate biome. Again, classified partly by area, partly by plant group. This is the smallest biome, and when we were there had a mime and music act doing a performance. There is a Dry Tropics biome under construction also. There is also a couple of cafes and a gift shop. I would advise wearing comfortable shoes as the areas are vast, it is disabled-friendly as paths are smooth and wide, and there is the train to help you get back to the top.

One quite unusual attraction that I will recommend is the Secret Nuclear Bunker, which obviously isn't a secret anymore. It is where the government were going to hide out and run the country from in the event of a nuclear attack during the Cold War period. You enter the bunker through a bungalow and take a tour using headphone-type devices. It is a very informative tour showing the potential self-contained environment that the bunker would have to be in the event of a nuclear blast. You see the plant rooms, communication rooms, planning/meeting rooms and places where the staff lived and worked. There are also Public Information films showing in parts of the bunker. They are original films and picture quality is quite poor but you get the gist of what the government wanted the people to do in that situation (stay indoors and don't panic). One thing that lets the attraction down a bit and makes it look a bit shabby (let's face it, it was designed to be functional rather then attractive) is the use of shop window dummies in various positions such as pretending to be radio operators or senior military officials. The fact that they are actually stiff, female forms makes them look a bit odd and out of place. Unfortunately I don't remember how much admission was, but I guess between £5-7. There is a large canteen with souvenirs also. Disabled access is possible by prior arrangement (basically you have to go in another entrance, I believe). Overall the attraction is very informative and thought provoking, definitely well worth an afternoon's visit.

The Forgetfulness of Men

There must have been a scientific study done on this concept at some point. If I could be bothered to go and look for one I would, but I can't, so you will have to make do with my own findings instead. The thing that made me initially consider the fact that all man are crap at remembering things was the case of English soccer star Rio Ferdinand who allegedly forgot a routine drugs test, in order to go shopping, and was subsequently banned from playing. How forgetful could a man be? Well, on the night of Ferdinand's appeal I realised I was probably living with a man that was easily as forgetful, if not more so. I went into the spare room where the computers are and told my other half, (or Ratboy as he wishes to be known) that his dinner was on the table. Five minutes later I had to go back to get him, as he had forgotten this.

If I go out, he either:

(a) Forgets I am out, especially when he is out as well, and wonders why I have not answered the home phone;
(b) Forgets what I am doing, and asks vague questions as to my evening, so as not to give himself away;
(c) If he remembers where I am going, he forgets who I am going out with.

Last week was local and European elections. I voted in the morning on my way to work, he declined to come with me as it was raining and planned to vote on the way home. During the day he asked me (via e-mail) about some of the candidates and how many votes we had per section. At 5.30pm he phoned me to say he was going for a drink after work. At 8.45pm I phoned him to find out where he was - still in the pub. "Are you not going to vote?" says I, "Oh shit. I forgot" says he, unlikely to be able to get back to the polling station in time.

This afternoon I emptied a white wash out of the machine. One of Rayboy's shirts had a large brown stain on the pocket, inside the pocket was a tea-bag. He had put the tea-bag in his pocket to go and make a cup of tea whilst at work, and promptly forgot.

I rest my case.

Baby Showers

Hmmmmm.

Not sure about these. At all. An American concept, I gather, where a group of female friends get together with gifts and good wishes for an expectant mother.

I went to one last night, and not knowing anything about them I decided to ask around. A few people on various forums had been and mainly the stories were horrific. Maybe they are more enjoyable if you have a baby or are the one receiving all the gifts, but I am not sure how much fun eating babyfood out of a nappy would be. Presumably it was a clean nappy. Knowing the hostess fairly well, I doubted this 'game' would be on the agenda. I asked her what the etiquette was, she didn't know. She was providing nibbles, I was to provide a gift for the mother-to-be and bring a bottle. Then she said, "People have asked me if they should bring anything..." ("What?", says I, "as well as a gift and a bottle, which I can't drink as I will be driving?" - OK so I didn't really say that) "...and I suggested they bring their favourite childhood sweets"

I (obviously) knew the mother-to-be, but only through the hostess, so not very well really, but armed with a 'Cuddle Robe and Bath Mitt set' (for those that don't know, a cuddle robe, I believe, is one of those hooded towel thingys that surround cute babies, that you see in photos sometimes), a bottle of wine, and a mixed selection of E-numbers off I trotted. It was a surprise for the preganant woman, so on my arrival I was hastily ushered into the kitchen to hide my presant and to get a drink before being allowed to see the expectant mum and pretend I was looking forward to the Virgin Vie fake tanning demonstration. The charade didn't last due to the failure to hide her mother (who was also there as a surprise).

As we tucked into some nibbles (mmmm...pizza), another lady arrived with her 7-week old son. The poor kid, although asleep, seemed to resemble the Italian footbal referee Pierluigi Collina. To add insult to injury he was also called Barnaby. Whilst nibbling my pizza he started to cry, his mother swept him up, whipped her top up, and attached the strange looking creature onto her boob. Not something I like to see whilst I am eating.

We piled our gifts in the living room, and then had to play some games. The Virgin Vie demonstrator, who was also a friend, had organised two games of pass the parcel, with hidden (baby related) presents, so apart from a few chocolates for the rest of us, the mum-to-be started to disappear under a pile of dummies, bottles and minature socks. I had to admit this was quite a sweet way of doing some gift giving. Afterwards we all gave our presents, the best was a singing Charlie Mouse from Bagpuss (he from the Mouse Organ), the others being practical stuff to use and wear (the baby, not the mum) plus a few photo albums. Soon after this I managed to make my escape, having decided that they are not as horrendous as I feared, but at the same time, glad that I would not have another to attend for a while.