BB5 - Week 8 - The Sex week

After Ahmed's eviction, the self-styled Jungle Cats (Victor and Jason) were even more isolated, making little effort to mix with the main group, preferring to sit on their own and bitch and moan, yet accepting that one of them was to go at the weekend.  Bookies  favourite by far, at this point, was Jason to leave. 

The Saturday task was failed.  It was a combination of getting questions wrong and having to slide into a pool of fish guts.  Michelle (a veggie) was given the opportunity to win back £15,000 by drinking the fish guts.  She refused.  The other housemates had a chance to win back £5,000, but also refused the drink.   On the Sunday there was a mildly interesting games of sumo wrestling in funny suits (won by Stu). 

The weekly task had a wedding theme.  Housemates had to decide their roles and perform various functions within them to prepare for a wedding three days down the line.     Michelle was absolutely desperate to be the bride and for Stu to be the groom.  Stu was, unsurprisingly, not to comfortable with this idea, and the lead roles went to Victor and Shell.  With Nadia as bridesmaid, Dan as best man, Stu as Father of the Bride, Jason as the vicar and Michelle as the choirister. 

The first night was the hen night and BB supplied the girls with food and drink and entertainment in line with the boys doing a strip.  It was a lively night, and Stu and Dan particularly enjoyed dancing to naff tunes.  Jason and Victor danced in the bedroom.   At the end of the night, Michelle stayed chatting to Stu, and persuaded him  under the buffet table (covered with a long white cloth) where it is believed, they had sex.   The first real sex (not acted) on British TV.  The bookies believed this and paid out.

The next day was the Stag Night and the girls had to pole dance for the boys.  The boys were not so supportive of the girls, as the girls had been when the roles were reversed.  Victor asked Shell for another pole dance and when she started, he wandered off to play football.  It was a very quiet, quite dull night as 50% of the boys were quite boring.   

During the run-up to the wedding, the bride and bridesmaid had to make their own costumes.  Michelle has made one too as she did not want to be left out and was completely desperate to be a bride.  She failed to learn her hymn correctly however.  She persuaded Nadia to stand at the 'alter', so she could pretend to be a bride and walk down the aisle.   The wedding went OK, although Victor missed out a word in his vows.  The gang had incurred quite a few fails on this task so far, although they were not aware of them.  Shell was concerned about Victor's attitude towards her.  All he would (grumpily) say was that there was some straight talking to be done.  Shell was very upset, but the time had come for the bride and groom's first dance, and she didn't want to do it (this would have been another fail, but the group didn't know they had failed already).  In the end she was persuaded and walked onto the 'dancefloor' and called Victor a 'fucking cunt'.  He took offense at this and a row ensued.  Shell wanted to leave the house and was very upset.  Victor seemed quite upset.  He likened the experience to feeling ' as though I have run over my kitten with my bike'. 

As they did not take up their 'honeymoon suite' in the spa/snug.  Michelle and Stu made themselves a little tent for more sex (or so it sounded like). 

Up for eviction this week were Jason (first time), Victor, Nadia and Dan.   On the Friday the housemates were given a mini-task - to perform a mime show.  They failed this as not all housemates (Victor and Jason) had contributed fully.  The housemates would have won an ice cream machine, but did not believe it had really existed.   BB showed them a video of an ice cream being prepared and fed to a dog. 

Before the Wedding night fight, Jason had been favourite to leave by 21% of the votes.  However, it was Victor who went to my surprise.  Next week there will be no nominations, all housemates will be put to the public vote.

 

BB5 - Weeks 6 and 7

After Marco’s eviction, the house settles down and new alliances were formed.  Shell and Dan found it easier to mix in with Nadia, Michelle and her lap dog, Stu.  Victor and Jason preferred to keep their distance and got on well with Ahmed, whilst Becki, the outsider, flitted between various camps, strangely getting on quite well with Ahmed. 
 
The weekly task for week 6 was a school task, where housemates dressed as students and attended the Big Brother primary school.  They must be there for registration, in full uniform, and smoke behind the bike sheds etc, as well as special one off school related tasks.  They are allowed three fails throughout the whole three-day task.  Fr example on the first day they had to re-enact moments from history such as Elvis, Man on the moon, Ginger leaving the Spice Girls and the sinking of the Titanic. 
 
Things got slightly interesting when a light aircraft was spotted over the house.  The housemates were ordered inside, away from the windows, but not before a banner was spotted saying that ‘Only Becki Nominated Michelle’.  BB would not allow Becki to confess, so she had to deny it as the discussion of nominations was banned, and the housemates thought that Becki could not nominate.  In spite of this when nominations did happen Becki and Ahmed were up.  In a twist, and as punishment for trying to influence Ahmed, neither Victor nor Jason were allowed to nominate.  From this point on Becki became a lot more withdrawn and integrated less with her housemates, preferring to get up early and talk to herself.
 
After this the housemates heard that they had failed their weekly task, as they had made too many spelling mistakes in their Spelling Bee.  This meant they would not receive any shopping next week.  However, Shell was informed that she had passed her History of Art degree with a first class honours.  The housemates were given a graduation party to celebrate with Shell. 
 
The housemates were upset about the failure of the school task and decided to protest by not speaking for a day.  BB then banned them from the bedroom and spa areas, and turned up the air-con.  BB also refused to speak to any housemates that came into the Diary Room.  Sporadically BB also played in noises of road works or babies crying as punishment.  This pushed Ahmed over the edge, he grabbed a spade, and in one of the funniest incidences in the show so far, used the spade to behead a statue to housemates had made in a previous task, and christened Maureen.    As a final punishment they burnt Stuart’s beloved cowboy hat that he had returned to BB (reluctantly) after a fancy dress party.  He went into the ‘snug’ (another room) and cried.  Michelle, Shell, Nadia, Stu and Dan then stole the camera from the diary room and put it in the garden, where Michelle tried to set fire to it.  All housemates involved were given formal warnings (of which they can have three) , except Michelle.  As her crimes were considered more serious, she automatically went to final warning stage. 
 
On Friday, Becki was evicted by just over 60% of the vote.  She left the house to a lot of booing.   Before leaving she confessed to Michelle about the ‘Judas Kiss’. 
 
The next day the week’s task was announced, when a soldier abseiled into the garden and dropped a package.  A housemate was instructed to fetch it and Michelle went.  She discovered the task was a Boot Camp and that she was a sergeant, allowed to choose another sergeant (she chose Jason) and the rest were privates, ordered to do their bidding, and with limited privileges.   However there was a twist.  The sergeants were called to the diary room and told that if they were successful and housemates passed the task, then all the privates would go up for eviction.  If the task was failed, then they, the sergeants, would be up for eviction.  The groups were allowed three fails a day, they had to do a roll call, a flag raising and a run around the garden, followed by special jobs for the privates only (motivated by the sergeants) such as boot cleaning and potato peeling, as well as preparing the sergeants decent meals, whilst eating basic rations and drinking from tin cups themselves.  Highlights were Nadia’s insistence of wearing her Chanel sunglasses whilst on sentry duty (a rota every night for privates).  Ahmed had a bit of a snivel, so refused to do the run, often drinking from (forbidden) china mugs and not pulling his weight.  This aggravated all the housemates, including the privates, who did not know what was at stake, as the failure of the task still resulted in no food budget.  This caused some humdinger of a row between Michelle and Ahmed and later, Dan and Ahmed.  At one time Ahmed attempted a military coup (he pronounced the ‘P’) single-handedly by asking Michelle for her sergeant’s jacket. 
 
The task was passed and the privates were told the twist by watching the video of Jason and Michelle in the Diary Room.  They all took it well, except from Ahmed (surprise, surprise), who ranted at Michelle and blamed her (ignoring the fats that his friend Jason was also involved.  This meant that Ahmed, Victor, Stu, Dan, Nadia and Shell were up for eviction.  It is the first time for three of them (Victor, Stu and Shell).  It is Ahmed who goes, but a margin of almost half a million votes.  This meant that Dan, Shell, Nadia and Stu (assisted be Michelle) had to make good their promise of all getting naked in the Diary Room.  Which they did.         
 

Strictly Come Dancing - The Final

Each of the two surviving couples, that of newsreader Natasha Kaplinsky and her pro partner Brendan Cole, and actor Christopher Parker with Hanna Kartuunen each had to do a ballroom, Latin and freestyle dance.

Natasha and Brendan did a fabulous quickstep. Whilst Chris and Hanna's dance was miles better then in previous weeks, it was still poor in comparison.

In the Latin, Natasha and Brendan's mics got caught up and they lost points as they lost the flow of their dance, still they scored higher and did better. The same with the freestyle.

In the end Natasha got 103 out of a possible 120 points, whilst Chris got 63. As part of the contest is viewer voted, thus Natasha got 2 points from the pro judges and Chris got 1. The person who got the highest viewer votes would get 2 points and the second person 1 point. In the event of a tie, the viewer votes had more weight, so in the end it all amounted to whom the public voted for. Week after week the viewers had saved Chris from being eliminated, when he was the worst practically everytime. Thankfully they saw sense this week and voted Natasha to win, easily one of the best dancers and a deserving winner. Apparently she is now off work with exhaustion.

BB5 - Week 5

That's more like it! Big Brother 5 has picked up by introducing a new housemate in the form of Bekki, a trainee florist, singer and poser-in-underwear-with-bunny-ears waltzed into the house. The housemates were told to sit on the sofas whilst routine maintenance took place in the bedroom, which is where Bekki was smuggled into. Big Brother then called Bekki to the Diary Room and she then walked through the living area to the diary room to cheers and applause.

Bekki, who was not nearly as attractive as some (presumably doctored) photos of her show, was told she was not able to nominate that week, and would also been ineligible to receive nominations from other housemates. After the remaining housemates nominated, camp Marco and transexual Nadia had five nominations a piece. No announcement was made immediately (this is normal)and after a certain amount of time, Bekki was called to the Diary Room. She was told she could make one nomination this week and that the person she chose would automatically be up to face the public vote regardless of any other nominations. She was not to say then, but to go back and, within, the next 15 minutes, kiss her selected person on both cheeks. Big Brother would take that as her nomination. She chose Michelle - woke her up to ask to borrow some toothpaste and gave her a 'thank-you' kiss.

Later that day it was announced that Marco, Michelle and Nadia were up for eviction. Michelle took it very badly and thought everyone hated her and wanted to go. Bekki then went for a cry in the toilet. Marco was also upset as the other two were part of his 'harem' the self-christened Lipgloss Bitches. He kept sobbing all week.

Jason and Victor kept hinting to Ahmed how he wanted them to vote, all three were given warnings from Big Brother for discussing nominations. Ahmed took this particularly bad, saying that they were trying to influence him and use him and he was trying to let them know he would go his own way. He then started to cry in the Diary Room, and they would not let him speak to a male Big Brother. He then called all the housemates together and told them to nominate him next week as he wanted to go and he didn't want to walk out/quit. He then went for a cry in the bedroom, followed by Dan and Shell to comfort him, and later by the others being nosey.

In the end on Friday, it was Marco (the bookies' favourite) who went.